North Londoner Simon Clayton's subject matter is simple - it involves being fat, mixed race, married, balding because that is what he is, and anything else that currently makes him laugh. Although not necessarily in that order. A popular performer up and down the country, lads bible Loaded once famously described him as ''like a bottle of HP sauce - fat, brown and fruity!''Simon's former head of sixth form at Southgate School, Mr Massey wrote of him: ''Simon's natural brightness often leads to disruptive high jinks during registration''